Your Questions About Paper Trading Software

Robert asks…

Idiots on the computer?

Any time you feel dumb, don’t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a “Wall Street Journal” article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the many calls asking where the “Any” key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the “send” key.

7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. “Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,” the customer replied. When told “Egghead” was a software store, the man said, “Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks.”

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and an invalid”. The tech explained that the computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens.” The “foot pedal” turned out to be the computer’s mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked “What power switch?”

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: “Hello, is this Tech Support?”

Tech: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?” Caller: “The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?” Tech: “I’m sorry, but did you say a “cup holder”?” Caller: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.” Tech: “Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it’s because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?” Caller: “It came with my computer, I don’t know anything about a promotional. It just has ‘4X’ on it.”

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn’t stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Another well-known one that I can add is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into “Drive A” but he couldn’t possibly get more than two in

John answers:

Ha ha ha funny

Richard asks…

Where Do I Go From Here?

Hi,

This going to sound strange, but I am in the process of finding another job, and i am scared to death about it. The last job I had was back in 2002, and haven’t worked a REAL job as some people put it in 8 years. I went back to school in 2003 and finished in 2004 for Server and Desktop Administration and walk down the stage with my head held high for graduating, despite not having family supporting me. I had self employed for a short period to have money in my pocket for a while. After suffered a illness back in 2005. I filled out the paper work for the feds, state, and county for my business back in 2008 to make my business legal.

People here in Detroit, do not appreciate the services I provide as a computer repair tech., and I am damn tired of them wanting a discount off the price I charge. And now, I just feeling like giving up my business and do something else. I have 5 years of experience of troubleshooting and repairing PC’s, laptops, virus removal, installing hardware and software, using a 3rd party for data recovery, upgrading hardware and software, and showing people how to use their computers, and setting up wireless and wired networks for homes and some businesses.

Since, I updated my resume, and looked at the want ads, I am so scared to fill out the applications, due to the fact that they are looking for people with degrees and experience with other software that I am not familiar with like 2008 server, 2003 server, and 2003 server small business. It feels like its my fault when I got sick for going further than other people. But, I know some tricks of the trade by watching others get a dead PC started and etc. I am good with Windows, 95, 98, NT, 2000 Professional, Windows ME, XP, Vista, and last, Windows 7 .

Do I just give up and do something else or just say Dammit, i’m good enough for this position and go for it. Or just get my business off the ground and just do it. Last, just start all over again, because of some people say that I am loser at the age of 35 and I should just work mopping a floor and flipping burgers. Any words of encouragement is welcomed. Any negativity will be deleted.

Thanks

John answers:

Don’t give up your good enough for the position. Don’t let some asshole put you down to me you don’t sound like a loser at all. You got the education and knowledge to make a lot of money so don’t give up keep doing your thing don’t listen to people that’re trying to put you down they’re probably just jealous of how much skills you have with computers.

Mark asks…

Calls for substitutes threaten America’s most successful export, the greenback. Is the Floating Dollar Sunk?

In theory, floating exchange rates were supposed to allow economies to reduce trade deficits by letting the currency adjust. A weaker exchange rate would drive up the cost of imports and make exports more competitive, thus reducing deficits. Under fixed exchange rates, the economy would have to be constricted to eliminate imbalances, reducing imports and lowering prices to make exports more competitive. That’s a more painful process than the seemingly benign adjustment of the exchange rate to bring things into balance.

That’s what the textbooks said anyway. The reality has been more complicated.

It’s the flow of money that dominates the flow of goods, not the other way around. Governments, moreover, manipulate the quantity or the value of money to their ends, which is also outside the textbook model.

The rest of the world holds dollars as investments. Foreign central banks use dollars predominantly for their reserves. Dollar-based financial markets are the deepest and biggest in the world. In other words, the liabilities of the U.S. are the main assets of the rest of the world.

This has conferred on the U.S. something that King Midas couldn’t imagine. We can effectively print dollars and the rest of the world takes them. Imagine what you’d do with a money-printing press in your basement. You’d spend like crazy on stuff. Or you’d acquire real assets, such as houses.

Extend that notion globally. Since the rest of the world takes our paper money, we get to acquire their products or assets in exchange. As a result, America can spend more than it earns and save less than it invests. The difference is made up by foreigners accepting our dollars and lending them back to us.

The clearest example is China. Its massive trade surplus with the U.S. gives it boatloads of greenbacks. The textbook says that would make its currency, the yuan, rise, which would make Chinese exports dearer in world markets. That’s the last thing Beijing wants as it tries to keep the economy growing at 8% to provide jobs and maintain social stability.

So, China’s central bank accumulates billions and billions of dollars, which it invests in U.S. securities. Much of that money went into Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac securities, which in turn helped finance the U.S. housing boom. But the bulk of China’s dollars went into U.S. Treasury securities, which helps fund the budget deficit.

Americans should realize that the nation’s most successful export isn’t Coke or Boeing airliners or Microsoft software or even Hollywood films. It’s the dollar, which is accepted around the world as a store of value.

Under the current floating exchange-rate system, the U.S. wasn’t limited by the gold in Fort Knox as to how many dollars it could issue. It was limited only by the willingness of the rest of the world to accept greenbacks in payment for their goods and services.

But, for the first time since the early 1970s, America runs the risk of being constrained by international considerations. Nixon could get around them simply by abrogating the promise to maintain the dollar’s value in gold. Now, America’s main creditors could impose the discipline on the U.S. that gold couldn’t.

Poll: Agree or Disagree?

Source:
http://online.barrons.com/article/SB123793604883731531.html#mod=rss_barrons_markets

John answers:

Very good BUT you left out that the party which lost power now believes that its route back to power is to sink the US economy so they can say “I told you so” and get their people elected again. Yes, the economy is rough but we have now a group of leaders who truly want to solve the economic problems not just blame others for what they created.

Well, there goes the dumb blond stereotype!

Charles asks…

you think you have a computer problem xxx funny or true xxx?

Allegedly these golden oldies from computer company helpdesks are true.

Feel a bit superior as you read them!

1) Compaq is considering changing the command, “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the Any key is.

2) AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3) Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. The customer had stuck the labels on the diskettes, then rolled them into a typewriter to type the labels.

4) Another customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived with photocopies of the diskettes.

5) A Dell technician advised a customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting down the phone, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6) Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the tech discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the send key.

7) Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

8) A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was bad and an invalid. The tech explained that the computer’s bad and invalid responses shouldn’t be taken seriously.

9) A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said it couldn’t find the printer. The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but that his computer still couldn’t see the printer.

10) An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response was, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happened.” The foot pedal turned out to be the computer’s mouse.

11) Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, “What power switch?”

12) True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: Hello, is this Tech Support?
Tech: Yes, it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty. How do I go about getting that fixed?
Tech: I’m sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller: Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.
Tech: Please excuse me if I seem a little stumped, it’s because I am. Did you receive that as a part of a promotion, at a trade show?
Caller: It came with my computer. I don’t know anything about a promotion. It just has 4X on it.

At this point the tech rep had to hit the mute button on the phone because he was laughing way too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped off the drive!

13) Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for support. He said, “I put in the first disk, and that was okay. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the second disk. When it said to put in the third disk – I couldn’t even fit it in!” The user hadn’t realized that insert Disk 2 meant to remove Disk 1 first.”

John answers:

Cheers for the recycling buddy.some times peeps tell me these jokes are old and growing hairy,love to post them or read them.They great if anyone missed them oh and best of luck with the war against the trolls lol.

Michael asks…

Idiots on the Computer?!?S Star if funny?

Any time you feel dumb, don’t worry. Check out the following excerpts from a “Wall Street Journal” article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the many calls asking where the “Any” key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn’t read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn’t get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the “send” key.

7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. “Yeah, I got me a couple of friends,” the customer replied. When told “Egghead” was a software store, the man said, “Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks.”

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was “bad and an invalid”. The tech explained that the computer’s “bad command” and “invalid” responses shouldn’t be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn’t get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring that the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, “I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens.” The “foot pedal” turned out to be the computer’s mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn’t work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked “What power switch?”

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: “Hello, is this Tech Support?”

Tech: “Yes, it is. How may I help you?” Caller: “The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?” Tech: “I’m sorry, but did you say a “cup holder”?” Caller: “Yes, it’s attached to the front of my computer.” Tech: “Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped; it’s because I am. Did you receive this as part of a promotion, like at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?” Caller: “It came with my computer, I don’t know anything about a promotional. It just has ‘4X’ on it.”

At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn’t stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Another well-known one that I can add is the true tale of the user who called up complaining that the instructions said to load the four diskettes into “Drive A” but he couldn’t possibly get more than two in.

John answers:

Oh wow…funny how some people can be so technologically challenged!!! =D =P

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